Merry Christmas to all my Faithsisters

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of my Faithsisters. To those I have met, and to those I have not yet met. I pray that the same Jesus who guides your life every day is even more celebrated today. He was born withe the same 10 fingers and toes, wrinkly skin, and after birth look that every baby has been born with. He did this for you. God bless your day.

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to wish anyone who visits here a very Merry Christmas. I pray you will find Jesus in the midst of the packages and bows.

Jacob and his new little kitty--Lucy Loo

Our little Tree It had to be kitty proofed with unbreakable ornaments

I always love the glowing tree look

Love ya Sis

I have been in so much thought about my family tonight. I found this picture of my brother giving me a hug. I had been away for a while. During my time away all of the abuse in my family came out. My brother and I were the only children my mom physically abused. I think my brother and I have a bond that is not understood by our other siblings. I am closest to my oldest brother. I remember feeling very protected and understood at the moment in this photo.


Layout made using Krystal Hartley's Piano Room (Available at FS shop)

Just wondering

I am just sitting here at my computer just wondering. Wondering about what? Family, future, friends, finances (did not plan the whole "f" thing there). I do not have a lot--I do not want a lot as far as that goes. I try to be the best mom I can, I pay my bills as I am able to, I keep my house as clean as possible, I go to church, lead worship, teach AWANA, work full-time at a daycare, and go over-the-board with my scrapping sometimes. I trust God fully, believe in Him faithfully, and call on Him frequently. All of that said----I am still missing something.

I think I am still missing a "parent". I spent most of Thanksgiving week with my mom. She tried her best to be my mom. She bought groceries, gas, Christmas presents for Jacob and me. We played games, watched movies cooked and baked together. Even with all of that, I still saw her as the person who yelled at me, disowned me, beat the snot out of me, made my years at home miserable. I still live in those moments when I am with her. How do I ever let go of that? Do I want a mom so bad that I have lost sight of what I want instead of what I have?

I want to be able to have time with my mom and not see her through my "child's"eyes. I just do not know how to do this. This is my goal: to figure out how to see my mom for who she is now, and not what she was back then. She may still be the same person, but I want to really see her through God's eyes, maybe then I will see her without my child's eyes. Does this make any sense.

I cannot believe it has been over a month since I have posted here. I have been busy finding a job, leading worship, having my scrapbook group, taking care of Jacob, teaching Sparkies at AWANA...phew, I am tired typing this.

I did get a chance to visit a Faithsister (http://faith-sisters.blogspot.com/) and she introduced me to digi scrapping in a higher form (PSE 5.0) How fun is this. Here are a few of my digi layouts. (All the kits I used for these layouts are available at: http://www.faithsisters.com/shop/

This is the Faithsister I visited. I had so much fun with LouAnn. I cannot wait to go again. I just have to remember to bring all of my clothes back with me. Gotta love LouAnn. (red spiral/red/blue papers-Amie B.: Embellishments-Digiscrapilicious/birthday bash colab kit: Letters-celebrate alpha/birthday bash colab kit-Boyerville scraps)

These are a few of my AWANA Sparkies. (Heart:Krystal Hartley/True to Youself: Staples, Ric Rac, background (red and blue)Simply Susan Designs)

I love this graduation picture of my dad from 1953 (This layout uses Eressea "My Heritage" Kit)

This last layout is for the "True Meaning of Christmas challange" at Faithsisters. (http://faith-sisters.blogspot.com/2008/10/true-meaning-of-christmas-challenge.html) You can still join in the fun of making your own Christmas story book. (Black paper/Staples-Eressea: My HeritageRed paper--Eressea: Autumn WalkBells/Green ribbon--DBalance: Paper Pierced Christmas)

Faith Sisters Birthday Bash Cyber Crop

Join Faith Sisters for our Birthday Bash Cyber Crop!

Who: YOU are invited!

When: September 26-28th

What: Challenges, Prizes (traditional and digital,) Sales,Chats, New Goodies and MORE!Where: http://www.faithsisters.com/

Why: To celebrate our 1 year birthday!

Earn points toward winning prizes by doing challenges, purchasing digi kits from our shop, and more! Earn an EXTRA 5 Points for inviting a NEW friend to the crop and have them sign up and participate in the forum!

Where did September go

Wow, where has September gone. So many things have happened in September.

I am still working at the factory, Jacob is back in school, I am on the Creative Team on Faithsisters, I am back to being the worship leader at church, and I have gotten some really nice scrapbooks started. I am making a couple special scrappbooks to eventually give to my son when he has a family. I am making a book about my favorite songs and one abbout my Christian life stories so Jacob can see how important God is in my life. I have made a few pages and will continue to make them every now and then until I run out of supplies (which will never happen).

Just a few more LO's

Just a few LO's I have made. Our first picture with Jacob together as a family.

Home Grown Good. We used to have a pear tree in our front yard and when we would come home from the daycare Jacob would say, "want one, peeez" He would sit on the chair (usually with a towel under him) and eat the ENTIRE pear. Very fun.

Lollipop boy. What a fun time to watch. We had given him his first lollipop to him. He had so much fun. The lollipop went with him all over the room. I think he ended up with cat hair and who knows what on it. We must have cleaned it 50 times before we finally got it away from him.

Creation Challange at Faithsisters

I love this song "In the Secret" I want to know you more should be our daily prayer.

I Love the ocean. When I am at the ocean, I spend the entire day looking in amazement at God's creation. I cry to Him and He brings the waves to comfort me. When I talk to Him He brings the seagulls to answer me. When my feet touch the ocean: I touch God and He touches me.

What is Freedom?

I have been thinking on this question for a long time in my life.
Freedom as defined by the Dictionary:
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: As a child, this meant freedom from my mother and father's abuse
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc. As a young adult this meant freedom from rules at college and government
3. the power to determine action without restraint. As an adult this meant coming into
my own self and taking a stand without remorse or even concsience
As I have grown as a Christian, I have wondered what this word "Freedom" means as a child of God: We have the Ten commandments, the beatitudes, the phrase WWJD and more rules to govern us. I have never been one to willingly follow rules set upon me, and then I read this:
Romans 8:20-21 (New International Version)For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated (freedom) from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
How awesome! The perfectness of God's creation was subjected to the imperfections of another's will. We, as God's creation, have been subjected to other's imperfect laws. We are too often held captive by others will's forced onto our lives. This bondage lead to decay or ugliness and imperfection. Through liberation (Jesus Christ) we are now brought out of bondage and into freedom in Christ.
Freedom as defined by Christ's blood:
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: As a child of God, I know that all of my past wounds from my parents are healed, and taken to the cross with Christ so I can arise not with wounds that have dissapeared, but with scars that have been transformed into grace and all consuming and forgiveness.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc. As a child of God: I can rise above the laws of Satan: distruction, lies, anger, contempt and all other things that can lead to eternal death
3. the power to determine action without restraint.In Christ alone I have the freedom to grow, forgive, give grace to others, testify to His , rise above myself and soar on eagle's wings.There is no greater freedom than to live in and through God.
He is above all else, there is no other like Him. My saviour, redeemer, friend, healer, and my FREEDOM

Jacob's friends

New digi at FS

Draw Me Close

I have been wanting to scrap some songs to hang on my walls. We had a challenge at FS that allowed me to get that started. It was titled Draw me close to you.

There is nothing more I want to do than to draw closer to God. To crawl up into the safety of His arms is what I long for. We should all be longing for this very thing. It is only when we are focused on Him that we can follow His will.

DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU-KELLY CARPENTER

http://faith-sisters.blogspot.com/2008/06/draw-me-close-to-you-challenge-winner.html

Draw me close to You

Never let me go

I lay it all down again

to hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire

nothing else will do

'cause no one else could take Your place

to feel the warmth of your embrace

Help me find a way

Bring me back to you

You're all I want

You're all I've ever needed

You're all I want

Help me know You are near.

Ephesians 3:20

Wow, I figured since I was going to link again to my blog, I had better update it. I have just added ( thanks to Kristi D.--thank you) a permanent slide show so I can put my newest LO's on here. It is kind of funny, because I will watch it a lot and I have the originals.

I have picked up my mother for a week-long visit. I have stated before that we do not get along well. I do believe that God would want me to continue to make an attempt while she is still here. She is now the oldest in our immediate family still around. My son loves history, so I want him to hear as much of it as he can stand while he can. I will continue to cling to Ephesians 3:20 that God can do (restore even) immeasurably more than I can even imagine---because I allow Him to work through me. He has restored to me a family through my church family. I may not ever get many things restored to what it should be, but He has made even better what I have. God is always good, God is always here, God will always restore--if we let Him--in His own unique and gracious way.

Thanks for visiting. Come back and I will try to be better at updating. God has given me so much to share--I just need to be better at doing so.

Check out my Slide Show!

Mother's LO challange

A challange was given of Faith Sisters this week. It was doing a LO about your mother. I just cringed and put it off as another LO I would not be involved in. You know what, it is the first full-page challange I have done in the 6 months I have been there. It seemed to be a small part of my healing process. Here is my LO and short story:

http://faith-sisters.blogspot.com/2008/04/focus-on-mothers-challenge-winner.html

I always have a hard time doing anything related to Mothers. I realize that the phrase "abusive home" get used a lot, but I grew up in one at the hands of my mother. We have always had our differences. We verbally fought to the "death" and I was hit with a board on a sometimes daily basis. I left home when I was 18 never to return. God has chosen in the last 10-15 years to start working on this relationship. I do not think our relationship will ever be good here on Earth, but in Heaven there will be no sorrow---I am looking forward to hugging my mother in Heaven and not having all the pain associated with it. God is a gracious God. My mother and I have done a lot of talking---not quite sure how much listening---and have come to an unspoken conclusion--we have my son in common and we have to start there. I tell her what I go through as a parent and we somehow find common ground on that. My heart breaks when I see other daughters getting along with there mothers. I so long for that. I am holding God to His promise of Heaven.

Winter, Winter, Winter

Oh my goodness, will winter ever end? Ok, I know Spring is March 20, but it normally does not snow this much in March. The last 4 weeks we have ended up with snow delays and cancelations. AAAHHH!!! Anyway, I have a few pics of this weather and what we did to bide our time.

A few things to thank God for during this time:
*Friends who have big trucks to pull you out of a ditch.
*A safe car to drive into a ditch with and be totally safe.
*God's hand in my friends safety during the past 4 storms.
*A wonderful son who takes care of his mom when she is sick.
*A neighbor who loves to use his snow plow.

You cannot see Jacob very well, but you can see the snow drift outside his window. Around 41/2 feet high. He is currently making 2-inch snowboards and is going to have a competition leaning out his window. He is very creative. I will have to get pics of that.

Peace--Week 6 Faith Sisters scripture challange

These are some of my favorite Christmas pictures of Jacob. He is 1 1/2 years old in these pics. The pics were taken at our family Christmas get together. I love using ribbon and this was my first try at wide ribbon. I love the look and think I will use it often. I also used my Big Mouth Crop-o-dile a lot for this project--very easy to use.

Jacob is 13 months old here. He had to get tubes put in his ears at Bellevue Hospital. Afterwards wewent to Cedar Point. We had a lot of fun, but Jacob was tired. I have just started to use flowers. I love the flowers in the LO's above and under this pic. The flowers above are all cut out from cardstock.
I wanted Jacob to eat his yogurt. He decided I should try it first. He finally did end up eating it.

Wait (FS--challange week 4)

When I heard the word this week was WAIT, the first thing I thought of was clock and time. I tend to be an impatient person when it comes waiting to hear what the Lord wants. I so want to be someone who is patient and can wait for the Lord's answer--In His time--he makes all things beautiful. Amen!

Beauty (FS challange--week 3)

I thought the word beauty could not be better defined but by the cross. He had no beauty or majesty that would attract us to him, nothing in his appearence that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and WE esteemed him not.

Please back up your computers

My computer recently crashed. I lost about 6 months of pics--Birthday, Holidays, School, work. I am so disappointed. Please remember to back up and save your pics. I have found a few pics here and their on different sites, but nothing compared to what I had.

Check out my Slide Show!

This is Jacob and his new kitty K.C. (short for Kitty Cat)

Kindness (week 2 FS scripture challange)

Week 2 of FS scripture challenge. I came up with the verse for this because of a conversation with my son. I asked him what he thought kindness meant. He said "Well, kind means being nice, if you add the "ness" doesn't that make it an action word?" I found Ephesians 2:4-10, if not for the expressions of God's kindness to us through sending us His son, we would not have eternal life through Jesus Christ.

I love the Brad Christmas trees and had been wondering how I was going to use them.
I am sure some day Jacob will get upset about his very bad hair day this Christmas morning. I also love our new cat, KC (short for Kitty Cat) she kept rummaging through the paper.
Notice the floating/glowing Christmas tree
Jacob and his dad--his first car building days
Never leave a tissue box alone with a toddler.

Faith (week one FS Scripture challange)

I have read a lot of scripture during the week for the challange. This one stuck out the most. To have the kind of faith to follow Jesus no matter how much pain you are in, no matter how long it takes you to get to Him, even if it's just to touch Him for a moment. I want to see Jesus look at me personally and say, I see you, I love you, and I will heal you.